Dumbfounded

We have a family business. It is not something I would have chosen for myself, but circumstances made it necessary for me to work here after I finished school. Whatever...I talked enough about it enough in my last post. Anyway, because I work with my family, it is impossible to keep my doctor's appointments private. It's hard enough for people to keep it from their families anyway, but when you work with them every day...well, it just can't be done. My poor mother thought I was dying, for God's sake. I had to tell her No, I'm not dying, I'm just gearing up for in vitro. Don't worry! I put on a happy face, answer any questions they may have and try to minimize the importance of this as much as I can.

Actually, my mother is wonderful and I probably would have told her anyways. For one, I just can't keep any secrets from her. Also, she had a terrible time getting pregnant too. It took her five years for me and another seven years for my sister. She never judges or gives any crappy advice. She just listens with an air of quiet understanding and nonjudgment. Thank god for that.

My father, on the other hand, really has no understanding of this at all. I mean really, what father really wants to get that involved with his daughter's reproductive system? He just makes other arrangements when I have to be out of the office and leaves it at that. Since we never talk about the fact that I'm going through in vitro, I naturally assumed that WE NEVER TALK ABOUT IT TO ANYONE ELSE EITHER. Doesn't it go without saying that this is an extremely private matter...something you don't discuss with just anyone? Apparently not.

Today, one of our customers called my father to say that they were having a big meeting at the end of the month. Since this meeting is directly related to my job, they asked if I would be available to attend. Instead of saying I'm sorry, she won't be available, he instead decided to tell said customer that I will be going through in vitro and will be off my feet for a couple of days! What the fuck?! I know as soon as he said it he knew he fucked up. Sometimes the words come out too fast for you to stop them and the next thing you know you've said something completely inappropriate and its too late to take it back. I know that is what happened here. He apologized to me profusely and immediately offered to call the customer back and tell them that he made a mistake in saying that and to tell them to keep it confidential. I know he felt like immediate shit, and I had to comfort him with lots of it's alrights and I'm not angrys. But really, I felt like screaming How could you fucking say that? Have you lost your mind! Fuck!!! Instead I sat at my desk and tried to hide the tears as I conjured up images of this customer telling everyone else in her office...Did you hear?! She's going through in vitro! at which point everyone in the office gasps and then starts discussing how maybe I just wasn't meant to have children and that I should just relax and blah blah blah. I'm so dumbfounded by his lack of judgement that I can barely look at him today. Unbelievable.