Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Well, I'm feeling pretty well settled into the Lupron phase of my cycle now. D is a master injector. He swears the secret is speed...the faster he plunges the needle into the skin (within reason of course!), the less painful the shot. If you hesitate, you'll be sorry is what he told me before I injected myself for the first time last night. Guess what? I hesitated. It hurt a little. But, it was a tolerable pain, and I'll do better the next time.

Got an email from a pregnant friend whose baby shower is next Saturday. She knows we're doing IVF and is trying to be sensitive about the fact that we are in completely opposite positions, fertility wise, and I so appreciate that. But, sometimes she can't help herself and goes on about things like how pudgy her baby's cheeks looked on the ultrasound, or how beautiful the crib is that her father made for her. Thank god we communicate mostly through email, so when she starts going down that road, I can just skim right over it. Anyway, she brought up her shower and said You're coming, right? Well, I didn't want to tell her that No, I wasn't coming, I'd rather stick forks in my eyes than go to a baby shower right now. So instead, I did what I know many other self respecting infertiles have done when backed into a corner by a pregnant person: I lied. I made up a lame excuse about why I couldn't go. I feel guilty about it, as I know this is important to her. I'd want her at my shower, should I ever be fortunate enough to have one. But, I know I need to stay in self preservation mode right now. Considering the fact that I probably would have vomited all over everyone the second they collectively hummed ''Awwwwww" after the first present was opened, I think I'm doing us all a favor by not going.