Happy Valentine's Day

I can't say the "P" word in relation to myself yet, so I won't. I'll just say that the test came back "positive". I am still so stunned by this news that I don't know what else to say. My beta at 12 days past 6 day transfer was...814.

Physically I don't feel any different. Aren't you supossed to feel different? Shouldn't there be all those "early symptoms" that all those girls on the boards talk about? I don't have any of those.

I decided to test after I came home from having my blood drawn. After 3 1/2 years, I thought there would be crying and jumping up and down at the sight of 2 clear lines on the FRER test. Instead there was confusion and then total denial. We were both convinced that somehow the test was defective. So I peed on another one and when it literally turned positive in my hand, we thought Hmmm...whole box must be defective. Even after we got the call, we still weren't so sure. I guess these IF scars run too deep.

Last night we got in bed, tangled our toes up and touched our foreheads together. We looked at each other and smiled, but we didn't say anything. It's still too early and neither of us is sure what to say yet. We know that the rug can get pulled out from under us at any moment. But for now, just to have gotten this far, is enough for us.