The Waiting Game

Things I've experienced so far during the two week wait...

1) Crying. Okay, despite the fact that my blog says I've cried a lot lately, I am not normally a crier. Under normal circumstances, I usually am the Go To person in a crisis. I can handle things. I do not get emotional. I especially do not get emotional at silly things like tv commercials. Normally. However, right now is not a normal situation for me, so you can imagine my surprise and annoyance at myself when the water works started up as the result of an ad shown during the Super Bowl last night. There I sat, with about 5 guests we invited to watch the game, when an ad came on that showed a Clydesdale foal trying to pull a giant Budweiser wagon. He kept pulling and pulling but the wagon wouldn't move. Finally, the wheels slowly started to turn, and he puffed his chest out, so proud of himself for being strong enough to finally pull the wagon down the barn aisle. What he didn't know was that there were two full grown Clydesdales behind the wagon pushing it for him. As I'm watching this, my nose starts burning & my eyes start watering, and I'm thinking to myself What the hell am I doing? Thankfully I composed myself without anyone noticing and chalked it up to the fact that I am a ridiculously hormonal mess.

2) Bloating. Now this is also a new phenomenon for me. I know lots of girls who get bloated, especially before their period. Not me though. It's probably the only period side effect that I don't have a problem with, which says a lot since I manage to experience the full range of all the other bullshit each and every cycle. So, the fact that I don't have a lot of previous experience with bloating, combined with the fact that I look like I'm already beginning the 2nd trimester is a bit undaunting. I don't know how to dress to deal with this. I certainly don't want anyone to look at my pouchy stomach and exclaim Oh my God, are you pregnant?! I'm down to two pairs of pants that fit, a pair of low rise boot cut jeans that are a little saggy in the ass and a pair of khakis. I guess they fit because they are so low rise that they actually fall underneath the vast expanse of my bruised belly. When I sit down, the inevitably expose the top of the crack of my ass, and if you're lucky you can see the various puncture marks left from my PIO injections too. That's hot.

3) I can't stop eating lately. And not only that, I can't stop eating crappy food. I've been such a food nazi leading up to this point. All organic meat, no processed foods, no sweets, no caffeine. I've still been good about the organic meat, but I can NOT stay away from junk food. I don't know what is worse, the actual binging on the crappy food, or the guilt I feel after I eat it. Oh my God, I just ate a chocolate chip cookie and killed my embryos with sugar shock. I know it may sound ridiculous, but I really am having a hard time controlling myself.

4) As a result of two rounds of doxycycline, I now have a raging yeast infection. Either that, or my vagina is just really pissed off at me for putting her through all of this and is now attempting to exact revenge on me with excessive itching.

5) I was right...PIO shots suck. My ass is so sore that I hobble when I walk. I look like an old woman when I go up the stairs, what with all the hand rail leaning and hunching over. The tops of both of my ass cheeks actually feel hard under the skin. I keep trying to massage it away, but to no avail. Thank God I only have another week of those to endure.

So, one week down, one to go. Beta is next Monday, 2/13.